The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Learning Languages
14:16 Jan 25 2011
Times Read: 569

I have within my heritage, a little bit of Welsh lineage, and whilst doing a little research for a friend..I stumbled upon a site for beginner's in Welsh..think it's going to get added into my Self-Studies.. :D



Self Study Welsh Online



Welsh Alphabet With Pronunciations

The Voice of the Family
23:08 Jan 19 2011
Times Read: 666




There is a beautiful soul whose Voice I know so well.



She is not my lover no, but she is as dear to me as any blood relative; she is as adored as any lover.



Oceans of land separate us. Stretches and stretches of concrete river, island after island of metropolitan teeming with voices, and over them all..I hear her Voice.



Sometimes it is singing and filled with joy. You've never heard a voice so beautiful as that Voice when it is rapturously at work!



Most of the time it is strained with worry and filled with doubt, self-loathing and so much pain..it rips my heart from my chest.



But the thing that slays me, is when it is crying.



This Voice has the most mournful lament that you have ever heard. It can render you helpless against it, much as a mother to it's dying babe would be..you feel hopeless to relieve so much suffering..



All I can do is pick up the phone, send a text or an email. All I can do is sit blindly by and know that the most wonderful Voice you've ever heard (with enough Strength in it when it is overjoyed to lay healing on the most damaged souls around it) is sitting with no healing of her own.



I don't pray, praying is something that is so debated the term doesn't sit well with me sometimes for the limits it attempts to impose..



..but I do light candles. I light one for her everyday, somedays several..somedays, dozens..



I will not stop loving her because it is hard. I will not stop loving her because it is hurting to see and hear her hurt. I will not stop caring because it is inconvenient.



She is trying to push everyone who loves her away, she is afraid that she will lose us all, and so she tells us to go. But I'm not going to abandon her just because she is afraid she will, I will not help her self-fulfill her own self-destruction.



I want that Voice to sing, I need that song in my life. I want that Voice to prosper and grow, to continue to share the Wisdom she has shown to possess..



..maybe I'm foolish, but if nothing else..as selfish as it may be..



I love her anyway and despite, and I'm not going to give her up without a fight.



She is the Voice of the Family.

I knew better than to go building sandcastles.
12:12 Jan 18 2011
Times Read: 688

I ebb and flow, just like the tides and their pullings; fair-faced lunar gods and goddesses.. Tonight is a not so subtle reminder of how much fighting that ebb and flow is as pointless as building sandcastles on the shore All of my efforts will be swept away for naught, when I had but to watch where the waters tried to reach, and built instead upon the rocky banks..overlooking other Fools tripping over themselves to get their sandcastles built before the tides roll in. I'm not much for building on the coasts anyway..they always seem to have the worst weather for building in. Give me instead a good cropping of forest, something lush and green. From time to time a fire may sweep through and clear away (and now and again a flood may submerge things) but those things living there, will arise again in ever increasing number and strength despite, (nay perhaps BECAUSE of them.) Perhaps cleansed from the forces without them? I feel the ebb and flow tonight as I am tossed along it. I have long since set about abandoning my sandcastles, and am frantically climbing the crops of the rocky banks to seek shelter from the little waves, now monstrous tsunamis.. ..I should have stayed clear of the storm and took that quiet walk in the wood. I can't hear myself think over the din of the waters rising, and I knew better than to let myself build sandcastles..I knew.

She Makes Awake the Dream
11:32 Jan 18 2011
Times Read: 691

It's cold outside. I don't feel the frigid air when she looks at me with THOSE eyes. If she knew how hard I had to work to hear her words when she freezes time like that, I fear she might be hurt, so I struggle to stay on topic. Her mind is even more captivating than her eyes, however, and the struggle is short lived. Her "everyday conversation" is spotted with long-ago "laid to waste" etiquettes that entrap me to her, cloaked about a wealth of knowledge. My ladylove is a wealth of many things. She fills my fancy with worlds I have not known, simmers my nostalgia in those that I have; and opens my eyes to worlds hitherto unbeknownst to me completely, even in the tales of my childhood. Her presence is frequently the sole balm for my "wounds" and I would have her with me always, excepting that I couldn't love someone who would let me need them THAT much. She makes awake the dream, and that much sweeter for the living!

Time Plays Poker, and It Cheats!
10:44 Jan 18 2011
Times Read: 697

You know how folk will quip the ever-popular phrase, "Money is the root of all evil?" I have to disagree. Firstly, I'm not concerned with what the "root" of any "evil" is..but taken into it's intended context; I've got to disagree with the premise. I just don't think Money is the culprit. Although I am quick to point the blame in the direction of Time. Think about it, Time really does hold all the cards, and with the winning hand, although many might wonder at the unending pile of Aces falling out of it's sleeve! Scarily enough, Time has pretty much already convinced most folks to lie their lives on the line for a pretty crappy pot if you ask me. Even when they see the deceptions, they just can't resist laying more chips on the table when it's their turn to raise..sigh.. When it comes time to "collect," as though Time would ever follow the rules enough to allow THAT to happen, you know what Time threw in the "kitty" for the other "players?" (Should it ever..gasp..LOSE?) A bunch of hot air..go figure. Father Time, Mother Time..swindlers and cheats the both of them! I'd just as soon not gamble with the likes of Time. What little I've managed to gather for myself would be nothing but wasted chaff to such calloused beings anyhow. I prefer to invest myself in things that are not so infinitely finite. Time is far too fickle to be trusted; I shouldn't be gambling anyway, I'm told I'm on a limited budget. ;)

Mirror-Me
10:00 Jan 18 2011
Times Read: 703

I often call myself a mirror to what others can learn about themselves. I often feel as though I am mirror to reality. I can almost understand how fictional vampires of old could feel, if they had feeling, such contempt for mirrors. Does my reflection appear in a mirror? Oh, it's a reflection alright. The physical manifestation of who I am in the here and now is definitely there for me to gaze upon, but it's never my face. All I can see is a physical form that really doesn't belong to me. It's as important to me as a clipped toenail or the hair that is torn out into the comb..it was part of me once, but now it is gone. I honestly don't give it more relevance than that unless something/someone forces me to. I am myself. I have no delusions that I do not exist. I know what my likes and dislikes are. I ascribe to my own beliefs and I hold myself to my own set of Virtues, that are based entirely upon my own experience and understanding.. ..but.. ..I gained every ounce of that experience and understanding, every iota of that perspective..from interacting with others. So in essence, what you see, is a culmination of the influences of all the: things, people, places, and individual experiences that have shaped another mirror into this world. What I am is a small piece of all I have known.. ..I had every choice in what to take and what to "leave behind." And in that way, I too, have changed the "face" of the mirror. When you have known me for a time, perhaps you will see abit of your own reflection in the glass?

You Have A RIGHT
06:07 Jan 18 2011
Times Read: 708






You have a RIGHT to do absolutely nothing constructive with your life. You have a RIGHT not to even try to better yourself, your living situation, or the world around you. You have a RIGHT to take advantage of the hard work of others. You have a RIGHT to demand that which you have not earned. You have a RIGHT to wait on someone else to fix it for you. You have a RIGHT to avoid responsibility. You have a RIGHT to sit back and let someone else take the reins. You have a RIGHT to say whatever you want to whoever you want regardless of the situation or how it might hurt you or them. You have a RIGHT to remain ignorant of anything you choose. You have a RIGHT to place blame instead of finding solutions. You have a RIGHT to refuse to crawl out of your own misery. You have a RIGHT to ignore the obvious. You have a RIGHT to deny what you've seen with your own eyes. You have a RIGHT to deny that you are worth doing for. You have a RIGHT to hurt and betray those who love and care about you. You have a RIGHT to hurt yourself. You have a RIGHT to hurt others. You have a RIGHT to do anything in all the world that you please, or to do absolutely nothing to please yourself.



No one can tell you that you don't have the RIGHT to do or not do anything. If they do, they are, of course, overstepping their bounds. You know what is right for you, what you want..and so you make choices..and the consequences of them are OBVIOUSLY exactly what you were after.



That being said..



I have a RIGHT to refuse to help people who will do nothing constructive with their lives. I should have a RIGHT to refuse to pay for (and I am only speaking about these particular individuals) those who refuse to better their living situation because it's too much effort. I have a RIGHT to get ticked off when you have the nerve to tell me I don't have the RIGHT to do anything and then calmly explain that I am bashing YOUR rights by exercising my own! I have a RIGHT to protect what I have worked hard for; if you try to take it from me, you will fail because it is MINE and I will fight for it. I have a RIGHT to refuse to spoon feed you information that you will not seek out for yourself and I have a RIGHT to "Just Say No" to bailing you out because you failed to plan ahead. If you have a responsibility to me, I have a RIGHT to react if you do not keep up with that responsibility, and I don't have to do it in a format you like. I have the RIGHT to hold you responsible for YOURSELF! I have a RIGHT not to have to find the way for you and I both; it's difficult enough figuring things out for myself. I have a RIGHT to get angry when you say and do things that hurt me and those I love..and if I love every person I meet; it doesn't diminish my RIGHT in this one iota. I have a RIGHT to suffer from my own ignorance and that gives me the RIGHT to laugh at yours; don't want to be laughed at? Learn something from your mistakes! I have a RIGHT to refuse making pointless blame when I can better expend the energy in solutions. I have a RIGHT to dispute the notion that because you have made yourself miserable I must share your misery "to keep things fair." I have every RIGHT to claim what you will not when it is right in front of your face. I refuse to accept that it must lay in waste because you will not do what is needed to obtain it. I have a RIGHT to choose to believe the things that I have experienced personally over someone's over-sensationalized poorly-written "story." I have a RIGHT to make myself happy, and I feel pity for those who don't believe that they do. I have a RIGHT to come to the defense of those being hurt when I see you hurting them. (This is where your rights and their rights and my rights get a little tangled up..but hey, it's MY consequences.) I have a RIGHT to try and stop you if I see you hurting yourself (and you have the right to try to stop me from stopping you.) I have a RIGHT, absolutely, to stop you from hurting ME..and believe that I shall exercise that right whenever necessary. If you exercising your RIGHTS at anytime hinders my own.."Houston, we have a problem."





Everyone has RIGHTS, question is..will you fight for yours like I will fight for mine?

The most appetizing things at the grocery aren't on the shelves..
03:49 Jan 18 2011
Times Read: 713

I watch her for what seems to be aeons, in truth, have passed mere minutes. Between the scent of the world about me and the scent of all that I abhor, lies her scent, and I am content to linger here awhile..drinking in her every movement as though each fluid motion were honey mead on the tongue. She doesn't know that I am lingering here for her, I shadow her movements from aisle to aisle, face trained to labels, eyes glued to her. What would she think if she knew for what reason she had caught my interest? I know such attentions would be unwelcome, so I regrettably wander away, seeking her out as I roam aimlessly; hoping beyond hope to catch the tendril of her fragrance round each bend. Desire battles with Will and I allow myself to wonder on the "if's"..knowing the danger in that way of thinking I skulk away; snatching my purchases from the shelves into my gaping metal contraption and try not to let my angst bleed over to the quite charming cashier. After all, she has the most mesmerizing scent..